past life

[shannan]

Sitting around wondering what I did to deserve this has led into numerous thoughts about fate and karma. I've decided that maybe there is a reason I am now going through this, but looking back it is obvious that I have not been bad enough in this lifetime for this fate so I must go back farther.

I used to joke that I must have been Jack the Ripper for Karma to bite me in the a$$ like this, but it does not seem to suit the punishment. Thinking long and hard I've decided I must have been a dungeon master, a real nasty one, one who exacted a lot of pleasure from stretching others on the rack. Fitting that now I am certain I am losing height. Yes, somehow it seems a little better to believe that this is some sort of deserved punishment and all I can say is that my crimes better have been worth it, because I certainly am paying for it now. LOL

[ScrapHeap]

While I do very much believe in karma, and to a lesser degree, fate, I also believe that sometimes it's just the luck of the draw. Sometimes, for no obvious or oblivious reason, things happen. Good things can happen to bad people and bad things can happen to good people. It's not usually a "reward/punishment" issue. Most of the time we are free to make our choices in life and accept the blame, rewards and consequences of our choices. But sometimes, out of nowhere and for no good reason, comes a huge gust of wind. It might drop a winning lotto ticket in our laps or it may land us in that torture rack you spoke of.

We must face up and accept the fact that we have no control over a lot of things. In the grander scheme of things, we're not even a minuscule grain of sand among an endless desert. So we tend to "humanize" all things we do not and can not understand.

I've come to accept the fact that we are just along for the ride mostly. And I've learned to accept good and bad in stride along the way. But I am human.... almost. When I feel like the butt cheeks of life just took an ugly dump on me, I shovel in up, head over to Joel's thread for venting, and dump it there. It doesn't cure cancer. But it does make me feel better.

[WhiteAngel]

Hey Shannan,

Well I do believe we are here for a reason, the reason is not for "reward/punishment" but to experience life the way you have chosen to....I can hear you say that you didn't choose this...but I believe you did...the experience of what you are going through will serve you, that's why you chose it...much like going to uni...if you want to be a doctor u need to go to uni for 4 to 7 years...it's a big sacrifice and hard work...but in the end it will serve u to be a good doctor...but it's the choices you make a long the way that is important to u....u can go to uni and chose to be a bad doctor or good...that's you choice...remember God doesn't sent us what we can't handle....and sometimes we are here not for ourselves but for the people we come into contact including the people we love...well that's what i think...hope that helps..

[msweeney]

Shannan:

Your reflection of the "why's" of SCT's is interesting and certainly opens a whole host of spiritual and philosophical question. No question that there is a good deal of pain in this world and that to live is to experience it in one form or another. And there are a whole lot of people walking around who look fine on the outside and are miserable on the inside. I am not sure I have any answers. I have two children and, like most kids, one of their often repeated lines is: "that's not fair." Often times they are right.

So even at a young age they realize that life, seemingly, is full of inequities. As a parent you have to take a stand on this at some point because the statement is really begging for you, their parent, to even the board and make things fair. So my response has become "life is not fair, but life is good, and it goes fast so make the most of it."

By saying this I want them to understand that you can't fit life into nice, predictable patterns. You can't compare your life to others around you. There are too many unknown variables, especially the ones you refer to (do I have past or future lives or is there some final judgment or life hereafter which will play in to the equation). So rather than being focused on this, I try to shift their focus to what is in front of them. It may not be perfect or fair but life always offers paths of goodness and beauty and it goes fast so don't spend too much time on the "why's" and "how comes." That's as close as I come to helping them make any sense of it.

[richard0314]

This is a cool tread. Shannon I can really relate to what you thinking here! I'm not sure if it's fate or just bad luck. Example the number 7: it plays a huge role in mine and my families life, my wifes dad was 7 years older than her mom; he mom is 7 years older than her step dad; her brother is 7 years older than she is, and my wife is 7 years older than I. I was born in July which is the 7th month,and my daughter was born on the 3rd day of the 4th month which equals 7. my sport number growing up has always been 7 and the list goes on. However i have never won a lottery using that number.
This is where the broken mirror theroy comes in or should i say my luck, life etc in a nut shell as i can explain it.
driving down a long desert road; nothing to see for miles as far as the eye can see, there is no one but me and the buzzereds. I drive for hours and hours and never meet anyone else. in the distance I can see an intersection with two more roads leading to it for miles and no one to see. as I approach there is a stop sign yet there are still no cars anywhere. I am a law biding citizen, I can drive straight through but that would be wrong so i stop. Suddenly rush hour and i wait for ever to cross that damn road. just my luck.
I believe that is life in a nut shell but i have learned to deal with it.
Richard

[wobbly1]

Richard-

7 is a Fibonacci number. They are numbers that appear again and again in equations having to do with the natural world. If you want to have some real fun, you should Google it. I was amazed at the frequency these numbers appear.

David

[vickie]

When I was in my car accident in 85 and was slowly on the mend, I was reminded by one of my doctors that when I was brought in I wasn't expected to make it, so sure they were that they told my folks to get my family together, my brother even flew in from the Hawaii.
When this doctor told me about it, frankly I was shocked because I remembered waking up in the ICU and I know this sounds a little X-files but an old Indian man stood next to my bed with his arms crossed and made it known to me (I don't know how he just did) that I was going to be fine. Maybe he is my guardian angel who knows, I realized that there was a reason that I survived that there were things I had to do in this world. Before my wreck I was busy in the world, making my way to the top of the corporate world (well at least as high as the glass ceiling for women ) I worked six days a week, ten hours a day and didn't have a lot of time for my kids. I changed that after, granted it took a long time to heal but I changed professions worked less hours, took time for my kids and myself and learned compassion for all. I did a lot of volunteer work and did what little I could to help the world outside my house.
When I was diagnosed with this tumor, I was again slipping back into the "old" self of being to busy for life, work and making money was again ruling the day. My body, and my "old" Indian friend has again set me on the path of regaining who I am and where I belong in this world.
I think that we are all set upon this planet to do our best, to live through all we can with laughter and with tears. I think that we are here to learn and sometimes that "learning" hurts a h*** of a lot, but if it turns me into a better person than I guess I have to accept that I needed a very hard kick in the butt to be one. And while I wish I had never gotten this tumor, and hate the pain I thank the Gods everyday I wake up and can still feel my legs.
I am hoping that the Buddhist religion is right in the fact that each time we come back we learn to be a better person and one of these life times we won't have to be sent back. I'm really really hoping this is my last time here I want to sit in heaven/Nirvana for a while and watch the world go by.
Vickie



Swannoma- T11-L4 inoperable

[Tmasgio]

Well, I have no other insight other than play the cards life has dealt to the end. Hmmm I got one of nothing in my hand. Go figure.

[Cheryl55]

Hi Vickie!

Your far from alone having a Native American as a guide. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross talks about her Native American guide in her book 'Wheel of Life'. I read long ago that some of us have Native American guides, and that having one to help you is a sign of a blessed life. Yours allowed you to see him and remember him. I am only guessing, because your the only one who would know for sure, he may have done that so by remembering him, you would have the strength to do your life's work.

If you like to read may I suggest Lynn V Andrews 'Medicine Woman' series. Her books are fantastic! All women should read her books no matter what your spiritual beliefs are.

Betty J Eadie's 'Embraced by the Light' Is another good book with Native American ties.

I think the physical life is a school. We're here to learn and to teach.

''All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely actors: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, ...'' Shakespeare

Cheryl

[tracy2001]

Shannon,

I was reading from a book concerning the Dali Lama "The Art of Happiness". It has interviews with him, not written by him. My wife got this book for me -- she often thinks I'm not happy, but that's another story. I was interested in the book for exactly the same reason as your post. I thought I must have been terrible in a previous life.

Anyway this is how I interpreted the ideas. In a Buddhist's point of view chronic pain or physical challenges are a blessing. It would mean that your spirit has learned enough in your past lives that you are now being challenged by greater demands than the normal individual. It is an opportunity to train your spirit to find balance and happiness against a constant hurtful distraction forcing you focus harder. Karma comes into play in how you deal with your life, if you put out anger -- anger will come back to you from the world around you. If you put out happiness, happiness will be around you from the world around you. In a simple example, if you laugh or smile, others around you are more likely to laugh with you and return your smile. There's a whole "new" presentation of these ideas out there in the film and book titled "The Secret".

I'm not very good at smiling or laughing. I am too involved with trying to distract myself from the pains that my meds can't control. I am happy though and I have a great life with my family -- I have accepted my life. I'm not sure I'd call this tumor a blessing though. So I guess I would never make a good buddhist -- I do kind of believe in the concept of karma though.

Tracy