Ranting

[IdaB]

Hi everybody - I hope people are starting to migrate over to this site, at least temporarily.
Many of you probably know my story, but in short- I was diagnosed in 2000 with Myxopapillary Ependymomas, which had by that time taken up most of the lumbar and sacrum areas of my spinal column and had migrated somewhat up through the spinal canal. I had two "de-bulking" surgeries to remove most of the tumors, a long recovery, and since then have been doing pretty well. I've had a few rough spots all the same, and I'm having one now.
Over the past several months, I've been trying to exercise more - just to be physically stronger and also to lose some weight (I'd been letting it creep up over a couple of years). Well, on Christmas Eve day I did my standard workout on an elliptical machine, and then lifted some weights - the same weights I'd been doing for weeks, except I tried one "bar" heavier (on a weight machine).
By Christmas day, I knew I had pulled a muscle, felt like in my upper back/neck, though by the next day it had settled into my lower back and I was having pretty bad spasms and some of the worst pain in years. To then fast forward through the next 3 1/2 weeks - I have tried resting my back, then not resting it (walking), then resting it, and various pain relievers (I normally take Celebrex, but have gone to the doctor since this and gotten Vicodin and muscle relaxers - took both till the muscle relaxers made me feel I had no strength in my body, so have backed off those). Overall, I've cut my activity level WAY down. I feel like I just can't get better. I also teach a class that requires me to stand for about an hour and a half,- it's just 2X a week, but every time I have the class I am in serious pain afterwards. I'm also having serious bad mood issues, in part because I am trying to avoid driving, so I haven't been more than a mile from home in weeks (I live near the school) - getting more than a little stir crazy.
So I THINK that I am finally starting to see some steady improvement. I get worried and scared in some moments that the tumors are growing again (don't we all?), but I really don't think they are b/c the symptoms were very different back when they were growing. (I'm supposed to have an MRI next month anyway, so I will check).
Mostly I'm just frustrated that I can apparently do this much damage with (I think) one bad exercise call. I know I'm hardly the first person to hurt their back exercising, but I guess I thought at worst I would be sore for a couple of days - not set back to one of my worst times since surgery. It's really depressed me, and it makes me somewhat scared to start working out again even when (fingers crossed) I've fully recovered. I mean, I know now at least one thing NOT to do, but it makes me scared about what else might do this. It's especially frustrating, I think, because this all started when I was feeling pretty strong and trying to do something good for myself - feel like I'm being punished for it.
I feel like I've saturated my family and friends here with complaining, so I hope you'll excuse me ranting here for a bit.

[Teri K.]

Ida,
I can so relate and feel bad that when you think your doing something healthy you end up hurting so bad.
I have now found that the only good exercise I can do is in the water. I guess it takes the pressure and weight off the muscles and bones and since the water is warm at the indoor pool I use it also has the advantage of warming up the muscles so they don't get as sore.
Hang in there and your recovery will happen.
I am heading up to USCF on Monday the 28th. Sorry I won't be there but only that one day. My next trip up I will try to spend more time so that we can get together.
Take Care,
Teri

[Joel D]

Ida:
First off I must say I hate this new site. Maybe it's the old-dog-new-trick problem, but I think the site is not nearly as user friendly, plus I can't see back in time or who is even making replies to new comments. I find I have more trouble with pulled muscles and my back now, than ever before. BE PATIENT!! Get one of those massagers that go on the back of a chair and use that when your back hurts. I hope things start getting better soon. Don't push yourself.
Joel

[Mary K]

Hi Ida:

So sorry you have hurt your back but I am glad you are on the road to recovery. I had my surgery 22 years ago & I have injured my back several times since then. Once I hurt it so bad cleaning out a closet(I picked something heavy up off the floor that I shouldn't have) I had to go for physical therapy for a couple of months before it felt better.

I understand the paranoid feelings too. Every time something like that happens I start thinking that the tumor has returned or that by hurting my back it will make the tumor return. Which does not make any sense at all I know.

Don't worry about ranting-everyone needs to rant and get it all out. It's not good to keep it in.

I hope you continue to work out because I think we all need to and it helps to keep up your leg strength and your back strength.

Can you get your MRI moved up? That would give you peace of mind getting it done as soon as possible.

Anyhow please let us know how you are feeling and the results of your MRI.

Mary K

[Cindy Lee]

Hi All..I have been trying for the longest time to get on this board, so I'm hoping this works. I ,too ,hate this new board. It doesn't seem as welcoming as the other one. It's not the folks on it, it's the whole cold feeling of this board. I once wrote what I thought was a nice post and it completely disappeared!
Lots happening for me. Started my second year of school and I am liking it more and more. My workplace is okay but too many hours and too tiring for my older bod. I have also had the back spasms and more creaks and cricks lately. I think it is just the colder weather here. We are at 25 with 20+ mile per hour winds. Just a little too brisk for me.
A couple months to go yet for my yearly MRI. But I have problems of another nature now...had my first ever mammogram in October. I know, I know. But being a caregiver for so much of my life did not allow me to take care of myself as I wished. So they had this 24 hour marathon to get as many women taken care of as they could. Went at 1:30 in the morning. Then had to go back for more mammos, a sonogram, and a biopsy. Last week they did a lumpectomy and removed two areas that were suspicious. I am still waiting on the pathology report. Hopefully, they will have got everything. THey had said it was stage 1. And the surgeon was very confident he had got it in time.
This was a hard thing for me. The anesthesia made me sick as a dog. And I was just missing my Mom something fierce. I had just passed the first anniversary of her death in December. We always think if we conquer one thing we can handle anything else that life throws at us. Well I didn't slide into the pity pit, but I just felt like...what comes next. I already appreciate this life that I have. But I guess I need to just slow down and enjoy the moments a little bit more.
I miss all of you guys! Let's hope this posts! Take care everone, I send you all a giant hug! Cindy

[wendy44]

Hi All
its very interesting to read what others are going through, it makes me feel not so alone.

I can relate to "Idab" and the one wrong exercise move. I myself have been doing the tightrope of trying to figure out what is too much and what triggers the nerve pain and sciatic pain. I have been struggling with this since 2003 since a back spasm knocked me over to the floor.
It does seem that big changes in weather trigger nerve pain, whether it be to very cold, or to a rainy day. I will just wake up and the nerve pain will start radiating from my sacrum down my leg into my foot and toes.

Than if Im lucky I get 2 days of relief. I have been doing PT for over 6 months. In the past 3 months the therapists have me doing Pilates with them. This has been the most therapeutic exercise so far.
You use your own body for strength building and you get results pretty quickly- I used to love weight training but it is so tricky with a bad back.

A lot of Physical Therapists are doing Pilates with their patients, or exercise studios are hiring PT's trained in Pilates to instruct. I highly recommend.

As to Lyrica, I just saw my Physiatrist friday and she gave me a script for Lyrica for the sciatic nerve pain.
Can anyone here say how it has worked for them? Any noticable side effects?

The only med I am on is low does Cymbalta they put me on for pain and of course the depression that comes along with it. That has been helpful as well.
Thanks for letting me post. Wendy 44

[IdaB]

Thank you so much everyone for the encouragement - I am so glad to see the posts here growing, and I hope more people will post on the Checking In thread that Linda posted. Like she said, hopefully this new Board is just temporary. I agree that it is not as nice as the old Aimoo board, but hopefully at least everyone can post, and hopefully Aimoo will get their new version working well soon.
Even though I don't post that often, I come to the BB often and it is like sitting in a room with good friends or family - even if I'm not talking, it's just good to be there.

As for my ranting, your posts really did help and I am doing a little better every day. I think it just took a big adjustment to admit that I had done serious damage to my back, but once I finally accepted this this will take weeks to heal, I've become a bit more patient (not a lot, but a bit!). I'm trying to walk at least a mile on a treadmill (slowly) every day, and I'm trying to decide whether to go back to Physical Therapy. (My main dilemma is not whether or not to have PT, but that I had a PT who I really liked, but it was when I lived about 1/2 hour away. Driving really hurts, so whether to drive for the great PT or to try my luck with someone closer... probably not a right or wrong answer, but a decision I should make soon). In the meantime, I just need to be careful and give it time to heal.
Teri, water is a good idea and I haven't really tried it much. I know there are some water aerobics classes at a community center nearby - is this what you do, or do you swim?
Joel - you're right, patience is the key (and impatience tends to be my undoing) - I do have a massage recliner, and I live in it! I'm also finding that alternating cold-heat-cold works well to bring down acute pain attacks.
Mary K - I had to laugh at what you said about the fear that hurting your back will make the tumors return - I think that all the time! No matter how illogical, I have that fear, and it helped to hear I'm not the only one who has to remind herself that it doesn't work like that. I'm sorry you've hurt your back before - sounds similar, like a seemingly small thing that can lead to a very persistent injury - sorry we have that in common but as usual it makes it less scary to hear from someone who has gone through it before.
Wendy44, thank you for the sympathy and the pilates tip - I've wondered about it and will ask in PT. I'm sorry that you (that we all) still struggle with muscle as well as nerve pain. I haven't tried Lyrica so please let us know how it works for you.

Cindy, any word on your pathology report? Please let us know. I'm glad you were able to come on the board... it does help to talk about it.

Best to all,
Ida

[Jody]

Hi Ida,

I think you know my story, but my surgery was in July 1990. I had many wonderful pain free years, and then hurt my back while water skiing over Mother's Day weekend in 2005. I've never been the same since. I've basically got permanent muscle spasms on the left side of my spine from about L1 to my hip. My sacrum burns a lot of the time now, and my left foot very slightly slaps the ground when I walk. Doctors around here are worthless - with the majority of them not wanting to be bothered. Unfortunately, I am one of the 7% of people who can't metabolize opiate based drugs, so there's not much I can get in regards to pain relief, especially since doctors regard people like me (who can take two Vicodin tabs and have the same result as taking a sugar pill) as drug abusers. I find the thought of me being a drug abuser especially funny since I have spent about 98% of my adult life without the benefit of pain relieving drugs. Ha Ha

Anyway, I have found that the best exercise for me is hiking and yard work. Go figure! I get hurt by the oddest moves such as bending or stretching, but hiking and yard work seem to be key for me. The point is, find what works for you, and don't be afraid to look at alternatives to mainstream exercise!

Hugs,

Jody