Post by tthomas22 on Jul 12, 2018 22:29:55 GMT -6
I had the shock of my life yesterday when my neurologist wanted to see me ASAP, the morning after getting my MRIs done. Apparently the radiologist called my neurologist at 11PM the night of my MRIs. My neurologist showed me my scans and the huge meningioma tumor located at my T3. I initially went to see her believing I had a pinched nerve for the past year, so to see and mentally process that I have a large tumor on my spine, pushing up against my spinal cord, I was in shock. Thankfully she thinks the tumor is benign. Also thankfully she urgently scheduled me to see a neurosurgeon later in the afternoon.
In utter shock, I returned to work. Unable to concentrate, I started Googling "meningioma," "T3," "spinal cord tumor," "spine tumor surgery." To my horror, I quickly learned about the extensive and painful recovery period, the seriously invasion surgery, and worse of all, the 5% chance that I'll be left paralyzed from the upper torso down.
Armed with this new information and scared out of my mind, I went to see the surgeon. He explained in detail how he would perform the surgery on me, and I was left thinking...how on earth will I NOT be left paralyzed? The surgeon seemed very confident in his plan - he said the best course of action is to go in from my back instead of through my chest (to eliminate damage to my lungs and heart). He's also already done 12 surgeries like this in 2018, so that's encouraging. His plan involves cutting out more that one vertebrae, going in from the side, hoping to get all of the tumor but might not be able to, pins and rods put back where the verebrae were, a possible mesh somewhere as well and a possible tube for excess spinal fluid collection.....again left me 100% convinced there is no way I won't be left paralyzed. Although he said the chance of me being left paralyzed is 2%-4%.
I really don't have a choice here. I must have the surgery, and going through my back seems the better option. If I do nothing, the tumor will grow, eventually damage my spinal cord and the chance that I will become paralyzed in the future is 100%. Radiation or chemo won't work on this tumor, so that's out. Understanding that surgery is my only option, I am absolutely scared and 100% convinced that I will, no doubt, be left paralyzed.
My surgery is scheduled for August 9th. I am a hot mess. I am usually a Pollyanna-positive person, but I've burst into sobbing tears throughout the day when I think about waking up from the surgery and not being able to move my feet and arms.
Can someone please help me with my fear? Am I being totally irrational? A 96% chance that I WON'T be left paralyzed is very, very good, but I can't help but zero in on the 4% chance that I WILL be left paralyzed. Thank you so much in advance for your experience, thoughts and help.
In utter shock, I returned to work. Unable to concentrate, I started Googling "meningioma," "T3," "spinal cord tumor," "spine tumor surgery." To my horror, I quickly learned about the extensive and painful recovery period, the seriously invasion surgery, and worse of all, the 5% chance that I'll be left paralyzed from the upper torso down.
Armed with this new information and scared out of my mind, I went to see the surgeon. He explained in detail how he would perform the surgery on me, and I was left thinking...how on earth will I NOT be left paralyzed? The surgeon seemed very confident in his plan - he said the best course of action is to go in from my back instead of through my chest (to eliminate damage to my lungs and heart). He's also already done 12 surgeries like this in 2018, so that's encouraging. His plan involves cutting out more that one vertebrae, going in from the side, hoping to get all of the tumor but might not be able to, pins and rods put back where the verebrae were, a possible mesh somewhere as well and a possible tube for excess spinal fluid collection.....again left me 100% convinced there is no way I won't be left paralyzed. Although he said the chance of me being left paralyzed is 2%-4%.
I really don't have a choice here. I must have the surgery, and going through my back seems the better option. If I do nothing, the tumor will grow, eventually damage my spinal cord and the chance that I will become paralyzed in the future is 100%. Radiation or chemo won't work on this tumor, so that's out. Understanding that surgery is my only option, I am absolutely scared and 100% convinced that I will, no doubt, be left paralyzed.
My surgery is scheduled for August 9th. I am a hot mess. I am usually a Pollyanna-positive person, but I've burst into sobbing tears throughout the day when I think about waking up from the surgery and not being able to move my feet and arms.
Can someone please help me with my fear? Am I being totally irrational? A 96% chance that I WON'T be left paralyzed is very, very good, but I can't help but zero in on the 4% chance that I WILL be left paralyzed. Thank you so much in advance for your experience, thoughts and help.