Vent your frustrations here!!

[Ali-Brad]

MAK,

I know what you are saying and in general I am very good at accepting 'where I am' healthwise, it's just that statement !! I think some of it stems from my husband hating it too. Having been through so much together with it all and in particular him seeing what I have been through, that statement seems to have a twist to it, as if to say well you look well so it can't be that bad.

Having said this, I can chat to people I don't know when out and about and don't feel frustration with them if they say you look well.

Maybe I'm giving those closest to me a 'rough deal'.

Alison

[paul55]

Hey Joel, I think you caught Went at a weak moment!!

[chickiet]

I will also chime in on the overly-helpful people, particularly friends and family. I was about 6 weeks post-surgery (2nd surgery, the first being only 2 months prior) when I had a house full of company for the Christmas / New Year holidays. Where it's typically just my husband and me, at one point we had 7 additional people. I really loved it as it brought home the meaning of holidays, etc.

That said, it seemed as though nobody would let me do anything. I would be rinsing a dish out at the sink and I'd be told to go sit down; or I'd be picking up my own breakfast bowl from the table and someone would take it from me to "help" me. I got really frustrated and kind of blew up at them. Here I was, trying my best to get better, and they were setting me back! I finally told them that I had to fill out one of those forms at PT that asked how well you could do certain things - I told my guests that I had to say "I don't know if I can lift light or heavy objects - nobody will let me!"

In retrospect, however, I think I was being overly sensitive. They were in fact trying to help and didn't know any other way they could. I was just trying to get beyond my issues and trying to prove that I could do things for myself, as I knew that was a big part of my recovery - if not the physical aspect, at least the emotional aspect. We did find a happy medium during the visit, but I do think that there are two sides to helpfulness.

Chris

[qhcrazy]

Someone on here, I think the person that started this thread, wondered why there were so many men replying and wondered about the women on here. Welllll, let me tell you that I am frustrated too and am dealing a lot with muscle spasms that go off about every two minutes, in my left leg only, and a back that feels like I am wearing a heavy backpack, and legs that are, or feel cold from my knees down and my feet are also really cold, especially my toes. I feel like I am wearing lead underwear!! I also have 24 hr./day buzzing and charging feeling from my waist down and am numb in my trunk area. It is really hard to deal with the everyday struggles of "normal life" and add all of this onto it. I pray so hard that one day I could wake up and "feel" again. But, on the bright side, I can totally walk on my own and have a very, very slight gait where you can tell I've been "through something". I can drive too, which is so wonderful, and I am totally thankful for that. My children are my mainstay and I couldn't do this without them!!!!! My prayers are with you all and any vents that are causing you trouble, I know I can certainly relate.

[john8888]

With apologies to John Lennon

Temperatures rising
Fever is high
Cant see no future
Cant see no sky

My feet are so heavy
So is my head
I wish I was a baby


Spinal surgery has got me on the run

My body is aching
Goose-pimple bone
Cant see no body
Leave me alone

My eyes are wide open
Cant get to sleep
One thing Im sure of
Im in at the deep freeze

Spinal surgery has got me on the run

Spinal surgery has got me on the run


Rolling in pain
Praying to someone
Free me again

Oh Ill be a good boy
Please make me well
I promise you anything
Get me out of this hell

Spinal surgery has got me on the run
Oh, oh, oh, oh

[8338]

Hi again,
After reading all these posts I have to give you all a {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{cyberhug}}}}}}}}}}}
I was watching that Oprah Winfrey special with all the individuals trying to help others in need and I was listening to the girl in the wheelchair. She said that the hardest thing about her situation was not being in the wheelchair but the looks of pity that she gets. She also looks like she can handle herself!!!!!! Yeah for her :-)

[bethann]

OK, so it is getting late and I have not been on this site for a long time! I have not read all the frustrations yet but I plan on reading them!

I thought it would be good for me to get away from here for a while maybe I was feeling to sorry for myself!!! Well I am glad to be back!!

I can relate to most of you so much!!! I do not have any problem walking. And if you were to look at me you would not notice anything other than my left hand shakes when I use it (the doctor clames it is not from the surgery!!! but why did it start right after the second surgery!!!) I will never know why this is and it will never go away!!!

Then the pain I have in my right shoulder and it goes into my whole upper right torso! ugh!!! I just wish some days I could just cut it off!!! HONESTLY!! Then when people hug you and PAT your back!!! Sometimes I want to scream!!!

Then you have the wonderful friends (honestly great friends) that think you just have a low pain thresh hold!! I would love to have them feel like I do for a few days in a row let alone the rest of their lives!!!

And yes I do know as I even say to others it could be a lot worse for me!! I am thankful for how good my out come was!! But, yes I say but ......I was not ready for this either!!! I just want to feel good for a whole day!! And be able to get comfortable enough to fall right asleep when I lay down like my husband can.....oh how I envy that!!! I would love to fall asleep and start snoring before him!!!

You are all such wonderful people I am so glad I have decided to come back to this site!! I think we are great for each other!!!

Now it is time for me to try to get some sleep!!!

Thank you all for being here!
Beth

[Joel]

I experience the "woe is me blues" quite a bit it seems. This REALLY gets me frustrated. I have a 12-yr old son, and I can only throw baskets or a football or baseball for maybe 5-10 minutes, then I'm wiped out and my feet are killing me. I can't run with him or my daughter or wife. I can't do most anything which requires me to stand up. But what can I do? Whine and feel sorry for myself (yes, I do that a lot)? Do something to take my mind off things (I do that a lot too, like read, write, watch TV)? Have a couple stiff drinks (Yeah, I do that too)? Even though my capabilities have been reduced alot, what else can I do, besides just hang in there, right? OK--but the whining still feels good too sometimes...
I sure do like youze guys.
Joel

[chickiet]

I think that venting is a healthy part of life - and this is the place to do it. Nobody judges anyone else or places their own preconceived notions of how we "should" be feeling or doing.

Thanks, Joel, for starting this thread and getting everyone talking!

Chris

[billanschell]

Joel: I am right there with you. We must have comparable symptoms, because the biggest heartbreak for me is not being able to be active with my son. I'm only good for about ten minutes before my knees get so tired and stiff I have to sit down. I would love to be able to kick a soccer ball with him, but it's just not going to happen. And he's such a physical guy it's hard to find things we can do together that don't bore him. So, I'm doing my best to be a good dad, but I'm up against a serious barrier.

--Bill