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Post by Jody on May 20, 2008 14:38:59 GMT -6
Hey all. I try really hard to be up beat all the time.
Most of you know what's going on with me, but here's a recap for those who don't: My recent MRI results were good in that there is no new tumor, but bad in that I have two ruptured discs and have been referred to my NS for possible fusion. Plus I learned yesterday that I have a perforated eardrum which needs to be fixed.
I'm having such a hard time right now. My ex is a deadbeat dad and owes me $60K in back child support - but the state is worthless and is collecting very little, despite the fact that his rich daddy died last year. The economy is so bad that I can't get a job (photography income is marginal). I'm uncomfortable most of the time, broke, and generally feel like crap. Since I've been self employed my entire life, I don't qualify for unemployment or state disability, and to top it off, my husband isn't the most understanding person. He is what I call "high maintenance" and gets mad at me when I don't drop everything and give him what he wants (if you know what I mean).
I am worried that everything will fall apart if I have another back surgery because I don't feel like I'm going to have the support I need at home (I'm the one who deals with EVERYTHING). Plus, hubby is irresponsible with money and we're already at a deficit. I'm borrowing from Peter to pay Paul and I just don't know what to do.
I wish someone had a magic cure.
Okay, I'm done wallowing. Thanks for listening to my pity party.
Jody
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Post by drummer904 on May 20, 2008 23:24:47 GMT -6
Jody, just hang tough, most of us know exactly how u feel. I hope yoyur husband changes his attitude and steps up for you. in fact i think he will. Us men willl shock you sometimes:)
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Post by ScrapHeap on May 21, 2008 2:56:18 GMT -6
I feel your pain, anger and frustration Jody. Reverse the gender roles and I was in a very similar situation. I won't go into all the details here as I doubt it would make you feel any better. Plus, it's a pretty long novel. And not a light read either. In short, I had no support system at all. In fact, what should have been an integral part of my support system was actually the biggest burden weighing on me. Add a dependent teenager (at the time. he's 25 now), all the normal social, medical, and economic burdens to the mix and, well.... I've been there. And it suxorz big time.
Hang tough. You have a support system here. Even if it is only emotional it can still be a big help at times. My eyes, fingers and ears, should you need them, are wide open. I am positive others on this forum are willing to do the same.
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Post by missym on May 21, 2008 6:01:41 GMT -6
Jody you found the strength to make it through the surgery and the life after sct. You will find the strength to make it through this hurdle as well. You are entitled to get down, get frustrated and vent. Tomorrow is a new day.... hopefully a brighter one.
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Post by cindylee on May 21, 2008 11:21:08 GMT -6
Jody, If I could blink my eyes twice and wiggle my nose to make your troubles all better, I would. Come here to vent. No one quite understands like we do. I cannot relate to all of your problems, but some I can. I had a very minimal support system. I still have that bare minimum. I try to take each day as it comes and make it a smidgen better than the one before it. And I have found that sometimes, if I walk away from a problem just for a day, it seems to have me dealing better with it the next day. I have a heightened perspective for all of us who suffer through the little things...those are usually what do you in. It's all the day to day stuff that gets under your skin and causes the most frustration. Keep plugging away. You'll make it. Hugs, Cindy
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Post by Jody on May 21, 2008 13:07:10 GMT -6
Thanks guys. I really appreciate having a place to vent without anyone rolling their eyes and telling me to stop being a baby.
You all are the best!
Jody
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Post by msweeney on May 21, 2008 23:16:52 GMT -6
Jody:
I am sorry to hear that life has been so very hard for you. I have often said on this forum that my wife has been such a support. I cannot imagine making it without her much less to have her be a hindrance in my life. So I really respect and admire the courage it takes for you to overcome both your physical and emotional hardships.
My mom gave me some advice and it seems so simple and yet it always seems to work. When you have a really, really bad day, try to go to bed early and get a good night sleep. If you start thinking about the troubles of the day, and can't get to sleep, let your mind be at peace knowing that tommorow can't be much worse and that there is a pretty good chance that it will be better. The world seems so much easier when you get a good night sleep and you can tolerate the bumps a bit better. I hope that doesn't sound too simplistic or obvious. I am just hoping your road gets smoother. God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers.
Matt
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Post by Think Positive on May 29, 2008 17:29:36 GMT -6
Hi Jody. I just wanted you to know that I am going through a rough spot right now as well and can relate. I too am a single mother, with two sons left at home, ages 16 and 10. Fortunately for me my Ex does pay his child support so I am grateful for that. However, I had to give up a good career "post SCT", have lost two homes (was even "homeless" living in my 5th wheel camper for 7 months recently) and had to file for banktruptcy. I am on Social Security Disability and currently receiving housing assistance to help me get by. I get so angry at this tumor and at my neurosurgeon sometimes and also go through bouts of feeling sorry for myself. So you are not alone! My motto is "I will prevail", no matter what I'm being faced with. I try to focus on my blessings but at times that is hard. I guess what I'm trying to say is, we are human and I think part of the feeling sorry for ourselves is because we are grieving for our "old selves" and that is okay! Hang in there! Too bad we don't live in the same city, we could have a pity party over margarita's together!  Kim |
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Post by Joel Wisner on Jun 1, 2008 21:24:11 GMT -6
Hey Jody and Kim:
I feel so sorry for both of you! You are both beautiful and talented ladies. OK, OK, we all feel like crap most of the time. Don't let that get you down! Try making a list--here are the things that are bothering me; here's what I CAN do about them; then here's what I am choosing from these things to actually do; then get started...Sometimes need to just let the chips fall. But make a plan and then start getting after it! Jody--can you do some wedding photos for other agencies while you are at a low on your own business? Then, I like Matt's suggestion, but I would precede it with a nice cool glass of wine, as Kim suggests. Perhaps a warm bubble bath???
OK, I'm gettin sleepy (and thirsty),
Know that you guys have the BEST support system there is, right here...
Joel
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