Physical Changes and Improving intimacy

[valerieb]

Hey all - we had a lengthy thread on this a few years ago with both male and females. I myself didn't feel anything for over a year post op and it was really bothersome ie pissed me off. My surgeon told me that if I could tell the difference between cold and hot down below that I would regain sensation. Well to some extent I did regain some sensitivity but...... Most of my adult life I had some decreased sensitivity but definitely not a decreased drive (horrible little joke in life). Post op the decreased sensation was downright unbearable. I have had trouble with partners feeling it is just some big challenge for them to figure out which makes it all the more likely that I will not have a satisfactory experience.

I don't know the answer to any of these questions except to keep trying. I have been given Viagra (and yes I am a girl but the neurologist has been trying the therapy with women too now) but it really didn't do much for me. I started taking L-Arginine supplements daily and I don't know what it does but I have noticed some increased sensation so that might be something to try. Otherwise creativity is key and patience from your partner, nothing worse than thinking WE can be rushed about these things!!!
Valerie

[Tmasgio]

You know I was thinking I do so much PT that maybe I should incorporate more sex therapy in the mix. I hope my wife is game. Probably not but hey worth a shot.

[valerieb]

The way I figure it the more practice the better - just like PT!!!!!!!!!!!

[ScrapHeap]

Completely agree on the practice theory and method. I like practice even if/when I feel I don't need it. Compared to all the grueling practices I endured playing sports, this type of practice is much more enjoyable.

Good to see some of the women chime in. Normally I don't think we get enough info from their perspective dealing w/these issues. It seems to be somewhat the same, only different? Though I do understand, gender aside, it isn't exactly the same for any of us.

The whole thing has the potential to be quite perplexing even to those of us going through it. I could only imagine what one might think that isn't a spouse or close significant other.

All that aside, I truly believe it is a matter of being with and sharing with the right person (for you). Someone who genuinely cares about you and is interested in mutual satisfaction. That, coupled with all of the various lifestyles and options available, there should be a way or ways to overcome these obstacles with rewarding results.

Or maybe I'm just being overly optimistic?

[rubestr3]

I think because being female, and an "action" does not need to take place to have sex, we are overlooked sometimes. I see why, I think we just need to tell our partners what is going on and what we are able to feel. A man who has never experienced this will have a hard time not taking it as criticism. I am just a little different, not impossible...just a tad bit more work. They just need to think of it as a chance to have a longer time in the playground!

This is one aspect I am keeping an eye on as I have degenerative disk disease now 10 years out from surgery. I can deal with a little lost sensation in my feet. I don't want any loss here!

[ScrapHeap]

With the issues we face with sct's, I agree 100% that we need to find a way to tell our partners what works for us, what doesn't work for us (futile and frustrating), what is out of bounds and what we are willing to explore. I'm quite sure it will be different to some degree w/each of us. Again, things like lifestyle, upbringing, religious convictions, and our core personalities come into play on those decisions. A strong bond, patients, education and PRACTICE should overcome most obstacles. Our partners will just have to be willing to be educated OR miss out. Pride shouldn't be too hard to swallow if pleasing someone we care about is at stake.

Definitely be mindful of the degenerative disc disease. I suffer from it. I had a surgery in 1984. Another in 1992. And a titanium rod fusion in 1995. I'm still sporting the rods. I'm convinced that it has help to prevent damage that would have developed sooner had I had them removed w/in the 18 to 24 month post op period. Mine is all lower back (S1-L5) so pain and nerve damage from it would radiate from butt down to the feet. So I'm unfamiliar w/how it might affect "other areas" if it were higher up. I do know that the longer one delays getting it fixed, the more potential for long-term or permanent damage to the affected nerves. OTOH, those surgeries were a walk in the park compared to having my sct's removed

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