What Helped You Survive?

[Jody]

My diagnosis and recovery took three years. I started having pain in 1987 and was finally diagnosed and had surgery in 1990. During that time, there was one song that was my anthem, and to this day when I hear it I get emotional and am immediately transported back in time.

Anyway, it's probably corny, but I wanted to share this with you all because I know sheer determination it took for me to survive this. Sometimes I had nothing but determination and stubbornness as companions. The song is "When I'm Back On My Feet Again" by Michael Bolton. You can hear it here www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7zhA5ADQnA&feature=related

Now that I've shared my secret, I'm curious; what helps you all when there are no words and no one who can help you? When you're laid out on the floor and it's just you and your tumor? What gets you through?


Jody

[msweeney]

Jody;

Thanks for the link. I just enjoyed listening to the song. My wife and kids were my greatest motivators. They loved me so much and I them that I have worked and continue to work so hard to keep up with them and not allow my limitations to take away from the joy of our lives together. Our family anthem is "These are Days" by Natalie Merchant www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rhKJcTgmgI

Matt

[Joel]

Jody:
"Survival" is strictly a day-by-day thing. On days when I am busy, I don't seem to think about it much, and so it is no big deal. Then there are the days when nothing seems to be right, and it seems I cannot stop thinking about my predicament--the "woe-is-me's" as some of us call it. Those are the times I find myself visiting this site more often, seeking some kind of connection. I go bug my kids, my wife, my neighbors, my friends. These are my lifelines. Sometimes they understand, sometimes they don't. When none of these is working, that is when I hope to heck there is a basketball or baseball game on, or I'm in the middle of a good book! I think the key is just to stay occupied as much as possible, however you can. Actually I think that is why I have started threads here on this site--to help get me OUT OF MY FUNK.
Joel

[billanschell]

I agree with Joel. If what I'm doing at any moment is exciting enough, it distracts me from my discomfort (and woe-is-me attitude). So, I'm trying to make it a personal goal to keep a steady stream of personal challenges and new experiences in my life.

[cindylee]

this is a great topic! I guess throughout my SCT ordeal, it was my Mom who kept me going. She needed care and had been through so much that I had to get going in a hurry. I pushed harder at everthing. This past year with all that is going on, I find it tough on a lot of days to just stay motivated. But I have a little dog that needs to be walked, so we take lots of walks. That helps. And music. My current theme is Kirk Franklin's "This Is It..The Fight of My Life". Sometimes talking with my friends just doesn't do it because they don't really understand. Coming here helps. A lot. I just try to stay busy. I am still unpacking and sorting from the move I made one year ago, so that helps. And I have school. I enjoy the people I take classes with. On days when I feel really bad I think about my Mom, who, three days before she passed was still trying to do her leg exercises to get stronger because she wanted to help her "baby". That gets me going every time.

[mak164]

Following my SCT in the late fifties, I recovered well and embarked on a career in nursing. However, by 1974 I had to have bladder surgery due to chronic urinary retention. Following the surgery, I found I had no urinary control, and was faced with a life of dependency. As a 32-year old man with two children and a new mortgage, I was in hospital and pretty depressed. I saw no future for myself or for my family. I remember unburdening myself to a young staff nurse, who probably didn't understand a word of what I was trying to convey to her, but telling someone of my anguish did relieve me.

I wasn't one for listening to music, but for some reason I always remember lying in that hospital bed listening to Judy Collins singing "Someday Soon", and a feeling of strength rising up in me from the depths of despair. Perhaps it was her beautiful voice or the determination in the song, but it did lead to me fighting back.

[Think Positive]

Without a doubt, it was my kids. I have said all along, that had I not had them I probably would have curled up in a ball and given up. They needed and depended on me - giving up was not an option! I remember scooting up and down the stairs on my butt in order to do their laundry - not giving it a second thought; pulling myself out of my wheelchair by the kitchen cupboard handle to reach for a dish so that they could eat; continuing my role as the fundraising coordinator at their elementary school from my hospital ICU bed; and so on. I continue today, five years later, under better circumstances mobility wise, but still with a lot of challenges, to take care of them without a second thought. Like today is a pretty bad pain day for me, but I'm still Mom. These are not complaints. I am blessed to have them and know that they are what has helped me survive!

Kim a/k/a Mom

[peilynne]

What helped me get through the tough times at first was two things. I would think about the soldiers in Afghanistan, how brave they are and some of the injuries they overcome, and they never give up. My best friend's son was over there when I had my surgery and I thought about Chad alot and how brave he was.
Also, at first, when all my family would go home at night I cried a lot.
I released a lot of stress, the first couple of months, then and now I hardly cry at all unless I'm in a lot of pain for a couple of days, THAT CAN WEAR YOU DOWN.
At first, my motto was this is just for now, its not forever. Now, I've expanded on that and its i'm determined to stay determined.
I also try to focus on all the things I can still do, and feel lucky when I think about all the things i used to do, not sad. At least I got to do alot of things some people never get to do! And I look forward to doing new things. Also, through all this I've had the chance to see how much I'm loved and how many people really care about me!

[ScrapHeap]

This is a fantastic topic. I think a lot of us might be able to draw some strength and inspiration from the comments. Our support systems who read this may also benefit. Thanks Jody, for putting this thread up!

Since I went into this ordeal w/complete peace of mind, inspiration wasn't immediately the largest blip on my radar screen. Especially during my unexpected and extended hospital stay. Once I was at day two inside of in-patient rehab the old instincts kicked in. Those being determination, being notoriously stubborn, motivated, and being aggressive about all of the aforementioned. I am also a realist. I had to consciously remind myself that as much as I wanted to get better for the sake of my family (to make it less of a burden on them as possible), I fully understood that I could not do that unless and until I took care of myself first. I wouldn't be any more than limited help to them if I didn't buckle down and help myself first.

Keeping all of those factors balanced and in play was and still is the key to my survival. I.E., Those were and are the ingredients of my survival recipe.